Workshop 01: GOAL + CARTOONS |
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Goal of the Day
Familiarity with the programming concepts and the possibilities of MEL Ability to formulate appropriate ideas and implement them Experience with searching for solutions
Cartoon Laws of Physics
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters
in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At
this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes
over. Cartoon Law II Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters
are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize
boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called
this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease. Cartoon Law III Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality
of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who
are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall
of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks
or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction. Cartoon Law IV Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it
inevitably unsuccessful. Cartoon Law V Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel
them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's
signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a
chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character
who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground,
especially when in flight. Cartoon Law VI This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's
head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several
places simultaneously. This effect is common Cartoon Law VII This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least
it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick
an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.
The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into
the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
Cartoon Law VIII Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives
might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated,
spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments
of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.
Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container. Cartoon Law IX Cartoon Law X This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to
the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching
it happen to a duck instead. Cartoon Law Amendment A When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually
a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great
velocity. Cartoon Law Amendment B Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent
objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road
Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.
Cartoon Law Amendment C Cartoon Law Amendment D Their operation can be wittnessed by observing the behavior of a canine
suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to all first,
causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part
will begin to fall, causing the neck to strech. As the head begins to
fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions
until such time as it strikes the ground. Cartoon Law Amendment E The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved in maintianing a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed. |
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